


Lessons Unlearned

by notjustmom



Series: A New Beginning [2]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-26 07:11:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18278339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: From Goethe's The Holy Longing:"...In the calm water of the love-nights,where you were begotten, where you have begotten,a strange feeling comes over you,when you see the silent candle burning.Now you are no longer caught in the obsession with darkness,and a desire for higher love-making sweeps you upward..."





	1. Chapter 1

As with most love stories, theirs wasn't simple or easy, and yet... 

 

She heard it begin before she saw it, one morning when she heard laughter in the courtyard, as she passed by, and she was startled by the quiet echo of old souls singing together in perfect harmony. At first she was surprised to find it was Stephen, helping Tony to his feet, as the new teacher had schooled his pupil once again, knocking him to the ground with little force, and all the battle-tested warrior could do was shake his head, and chuckle in return. But then she considered what she knew of the two men, and she wondered how they hadn't crossed paths before in their old lives.

The Ancient One sighed, then moved back into the shadows, and waited for the real lessons to begin. She understood the true work would not be the daily skirmishes in the courtyard, or their monumental disagreements over translations of ancient texts, but whether or not they could each find the strength to recognize and accept the love the other was capable of giving. She wondered if they had met too late to change their fates she had glimpses of, but then smiled to herself as Tony finally got the better of Stephen, and let out a whoop of delight, a sound that she knew he wouldn't have been capable of just a few months earlier.

"Sorry, Doc." Tony grinned down at Stephen then offered him a hand and pulled him easily to his feet, and they bowed to each other.

Stephen shook his head as he brushed a bit of dirt from Tony's cheek, then quickly withdrew his hand. "Don't be sorry, Stark, you are a quick study, though you have a lot to unlearn still, you had grown dependent on your armor, understandable of course -"

"Don't your incantations and manipulations of dimensions serve as armor?" 

Stephen sighed and rolled his eyes in resignation. "I suppose, yes. We are out here to unlearn our dependencies -"

Tony snorted and turned away to catch his breath, then mumbled without thinking,"I thought we did this so you could see how hard it would be to get me on my back -" He heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and knew he had gone too far again. "Doc."

"I have work to do -"

Tony swore under his breath, then slowly turned back to find Stephen had already gone. "Stephen. Damn it, Stark." The Ancient One watched as his shoulders slumped forward, and he caught her eye, then shrugged at her, as if he could hear her telling him not to give up so easily. He offered her an exhausted half-smile that didn't quite reach the warm brown eyes, then turned away once again, and walked off slowly in the direction of his room. She knew it was in her power to help them, but over the centuries, she had learned not to interfere when it came to the mysteries of love. She only hoped they wouldn't run out of time.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony can sense Stephen's presence before he sits down next to him in the dry summer grass, but he keeps his eyes closed, and waits.

"I'm sorry."

Still he waits, a bit childish, he supposes, but how many times had he made mistakes in the past because he had spoken out of turn, and ended up giving way too much too soon? Perhaps patience is a virtue after all?

"You still find ways to surprise me. I think I know you, but I keep getting reminded that I know very little."

"Do you want to, know me?" His own words surprise himself for once. No, what still surprises him months after he arrived, is the fact that he chose this place, a place where he had no standing, his strengths, power and past were known but essentially forgotten, and at an age, if he had been anywhere else, he would be retiring soon. It was instinct, perhaps he understood as he shivered in Siberia that it was self-preservation that had made him choose this place above anywhere else, the only place on earth where he had to relearn everything, including, no, especially, how to breathe.

"Very much." Stephen sighs and stretches out next to him and closes his eyes.

Tony considers his answer carefully for a few minutes then opens his eyes and looks up at the sky. There isn't a single cloud, tree branch, bird or plane to mar the most perfect blue he's ever seen. He has the strongest feeling that his next words matter, so he counts to ten, takes a few easy breaths, then turns his head to find Stephen studying him carefully, but he doesn't shy away this time from the eyes that defy easy description.

"Why?" He asks quietly, then bites his lip. Wrong word. Damn. He briefly wonders if there is a spell that would allow him to melt into the earth beneath him, never to be seen again, when Stephen smiles at him, a genuine smile, that turns the striking face into something so beautifully human that he has to remind himself that he does, in fact, know how to breathe.

"Why?" Stephen whispers back and Tony knows he'd give anything to know what it would be like, what it would mean to be enough to earn the hope, perhaps the beginning of love he sees in Stephen's eyes. "You make me want to be more, better. Every night, on the nights I actually sleep, I fall asleep thinking of you, of something you've said, or how you looked in a certain light. I want to be the one person who knows you better than anyone ever has before."

Tony blinks at him and searches for a reason to deny the glittering eyes that seem to be offering him everything he thought he'd ever wanted in his life and can't find an answer to the light he sees there. He rolls over onto his side, propping his head on his hand and he finally nods, as the words that used to come so easily to him have deserted him at the worst possible time.

"Yes?" Stephen prompts him gently.

"Yes. Yes, please?" He isn't quite sure what he is saying yes to, but as Stephen moves closer and a single finger carefully traces his bottom lip, he understands he wants everything, and for once, he isn't terrified.


	3. Chapter 3

There was something different in the silence between them as Stephen closed the door to his rooms, then turned to look at Tony who was studying him carefully, as if seeing him for the first time, not as a teacher, or sorcerer, but simply as a man. He tried to remember the last time someone had made him feel the way he did at the moment, and found himself at a loss. The easy confidence that allowed him to finally confess his feelings in the courtyard had evaporated as the dark eyes grew even darker, yet Tony appeared perfectly at ease, as he once again waited for him to play catch up.

"No one has, I haven't, in years, not since before the accident." His words sounded brittle to his own ears, as if they would shatter into shards of glass if he were touched too roughly, or at all.

Tony nodded and unwrapped the simple belt from his waist, and laid it on the back of a chair, then easily lifted the lightweight tunic over his head and let it fall from his fingers. It was an invitation, all he had to do was take three steps forward, and he would finally -

"Doc. If it's too fast, I understand. I know what I want, if you need time -"

He didn't remember crossing the room, but the next thing he knew, Tony had eased the layers of clothing from him, and his strong fingers were in his hair and dark eyes were smiling into his, asking permission to kiss him, which he granted with a nod. As Tony grinned against his lips, he felt his knees buckle, but Tony caught him before he fell.

"I got you, Stephen. I won't let you fall, I promise." 

As he rested against Tony's shoulder, he realized that the long journey he had made nearly three years ago now, wasn't just so he could arrive at this place so he could bargain for the planet, but he was meant to love the man who was currently holding him securely in his arms, whispering promises into his hair that no one had ever made to him before, and all he could do was make those same promises in return. He knew, if it were truly possible, he would give up everything just to be able to exist as they were at that moment, until the end of time and whatever came after.

But time, as ever, marched on, as it always did, and soon Stephen found himself gazing down into Tony's shining eyes, and understood words were no longer needed, as Tony kissed him in a way that let him know he had arrived home at last.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a rating bump here...

He had long forgotten what it meant to be gently reminded that he was human, as Stephen took his time running his fingers over him, pausing to kiss each and every scar, as if he could soften the betrayals that had left their mark in his skin. He wasn't sure when the tears began or when it was that Stephen had stopped and gathered him into his arms, all he seemed to know was that he was safe for the first time in his life, and he wondered why it had taken so long to get here.

It could have been minutes, or hours, possibly days; their shared silence had a way of warping his sense of time, before the tears stopped and his own fingers began to explore the terrain of the man beneath him. He felt him shiver at his touch and heard his breath catch as he whispered, "so beautiful, Stephen," against his lips, and he started as the brilliant eyes opened in surprise.

"I'm not -"

Tony laid a finger on Stephen's plush lips, then gently picked up his left hand and pressed his palm to his cheek, and waited until the tremors eased before he kissed the center of his palm, then kissed each fingertip and watched as Stephen's eyes slowly closed again, and his breathing calmed once more. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to you." 

He gently brushed away the tears that were streaming down Stephen's sharp cheekbones, then breathed kisses over the scattering of freckles that decorated the long, pale neck, and traveled across his chest. As he finally settled against him once again, he sighed and closed his eyes as Stephen's arms curled around him and held him tightly as he pressed his lips into his hair, and murmured, "rest, I'll be here when you wake."

 

The room was dark when Tony opened his eyes again, and he bolted upright, and scrambled to the edge of the bed, as he found he was in an unfamiliar room. For a moment his subconscious landed him back in the cave in Afghanistan until a soft voice rumbled gently behind him. "Breathe, Tony. Just take a breath." He nodded at the voice and the panic settled again, as a long arm draped around his waist, then stilled.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Ten hours."

"Ten hours?"

"Hmm."

Tony's eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and he turned to look at the sleep tousled man who gazed up at him from the pillows. "You stayed."

"Said I would."

Tony nodded at him, then slipped back under the lightweight blanket and as he buried his face into Stephen's chest, he mumbled, "I want - Stephen, please, just -"

Stephen rolled them carefully so he could look down into Tony's eyes, and kissed him lightly at first, as if afraid Tony might slip away from him if he dared ask for too much, then Tony's fingers were in his hair, impatiently tugging him closer, and he was lost to the sounds, scent and touch of the man he had wanted since the first time he laid eyes on him. He gave a thought to the distinct possibility that he was having the best dream of his life, when Tony rolled them again and his strong, battle roughened fingers drifted across his chest, down his trembling torso and stopped short of where he needed them to be.

"Please, don't stop T -" and words ceased to have meaning as Tony ran his fingers over him, then began stroking him until he found breathing to be a chore, and Tony's lips found his again, but this time, the kisses were disarmingly sweet, and he found himself sobbing as Tony easily brought him to climax, then kissed him through the tidal wave of aftershocks that threatened to overwhelm him and pulled him gently into his arms. 

As he slowly resurfaced, the sun was just beginning to make its presence felt, and he wondered if he'd ever truly seen a sunrise before. His brain came back online and he knew there were words, words he should say, but he was afraid they would not be nearly enough for the man who was searching his eyes at the moment.

"Morning," Tony whispered with a smile.

"Morning," he agreed, then cleared his throat, and Tony shook his head, then kissed him softly.

"Me too, Sunshine. Me too."


	5. Chapter 5

"Mr. Stark."

Tony looked up from his reading and met Mordo's gaze, with a respectful nod. "Master Mordo, how can I help you?"

"I am actually here to be of assistance to you. I understand you are having difficulty mastering the sling ring."

Tony closed his book with a snort and shrugged. "You do come straight to the point, don't you." He got up from the table and studied the man who stood in front of him. "I can see where Strange gets it from."

Mordo offered him a rare smile, and shook his head. "He arrived in that condition. I believe I have learned the most direct route is often the best way from him."

"I think the most basic answer is that my hands are broken," he muttered, as he looked down at them, then tucked them away in the folds of his robes. Mordo made no response, even his breathing seemed muted somehow, and Tony sighed heavily. "Stephen - Strange believes I can still do good with them. He believes there is light left in them -"

"You disagree."

Tony pulled his hands from his robes again and held them out to Mordo. "I can't remember a time when I wasn't a creator, a builder, a 'fixer' of broken things. Unfortunately, most of those creations have been used against me, in one way or another. I think you are aware of my history?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then you understand."

Mordo reached out and placed his hands on Tony's and closed his eyes as he focused his energy over the scarred fingers, then spoke clearly, but quietly. "What I understand is that you are afraid, of your own power, but mostly, you are afraid to trust the love you have recently discovered here." 

Tony snatched his hands away as if burned and sat down hard in his seat. "How? Did Stephen - damn."

Mordo opened his eyes and smiled gently at him. "When a student of mine, who is known for his silent brooding nature is humming love songs without realizing it, then I can safely make some assumptions. I was once of the world, Mr. Stark -"

"It was my fault," Tony began.

"There is no fault, when it comes to finding one's other self."

Tony narrowed his eyes at the master and asked gruffly, "is there something I need to know? Was this part of some 'grand scheme', to get us together? Does the Ancient One -?"

"As the Ancient One has told you, she had seen you in visions before she brought you here? These visions are merely glimpses, the smallest slivers of moments, and perhaps, yes, she understood the nature of what the two of you could be, but she interfered as much as she dared -"

"When she brought me here," Tony whispered.

Mordo nodded. "She knew you would have met eventually, in one timeline or another, but she saw an opportunity in this one, when she knew of your trouble in Siberia, in the hopes of, well, to be honest, Mr. Stark, she seems to believe that you have it in you to become one of our greatest sorcerers. Personally, I'm not so sure -" 

"Is that a dare, Master Mordo?" Tony muttered and rolled his eyes. "You have done your research. Well done. You know I can't resist a dare."

Mordo laughed, and looked into Tony's eyes. "I am beginning to see how you have managed to bewitch both my master and my student, even Wong seems to be fond of you, and he doesn't like many people, especially outsiders."

"Stephen -"

"It took a couple of years for Wong and Strange to become friends, but I know he has a grudging respect for you, already, and he sings your praises, especially your mastery of languages. It is not just that you have memorized the words, and phrases, you seem to have respect for the lyricism and understanding of the humor of each language, as you learn them, which Wong finds noteworthy."

Tony looked away and cleared his throat. "I had a friend. He saved my life. Remade me in a way, physically and otherwise - he was a scientist and a linguist. Taught me of the importance of listening..."

Mordo had read the file on Yinsen, and watched Tony's face as he reflected on the friend he had left behind in Afghanistan, and he was beginning to see what the Ancient One and Strange saw in the man who sat in front of him. He had argued with the Ancient One against bringing Stark here, the timeline was sacrosanct, interference could only be destructive, no matter the intent. He blinked and understood that Stark could read him already, and realized that underestimating him would be a mistake.

"The only advice I can offer to you is to trust yourself as others have learned to trust you. As I understand it, your 'creations' were intended to fix the issues you had foreseen, but had not yet come to pass? I know you feel you have much blood on your hands, Mr. Stark, as do all of us here, in one way or another. None of us are innocent. Have faith in the love you have found here, it will not lead you astray." 

He bowed then seemed to vanish before Tony could even think of a response. He shook his head, then tried to return to his reading, but after a few minutes closed the ancient tome, and left the library to search for Stephen.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony walked into the courtyard as the sun was setting and stopped short as he found Stephen working through his Tai Chi form, slowly with an easy grace, but with the same intense focus that had been lavished on him in the early hours of that day, and he finally admitted to himself that what he felt for him was something he didn't think he'd ever allow himself to feel again.

Love. 

He loved him, but in a way he hadn't loved anyone before, in a way he wasn't sure he completely understood yet. 

His breath caught as Stephen turned to face him at that moment, and as he opened his eyes, and smiled shyly at him, Tony was once again too aware of the lengths he would go to protect the person he realized he couldn't live without. He had loved before and lost, and had somehow survived, not very well, but he had managed it; he just wasn't sure that he could survive another such loss.

Stephen moved to stand before him, and studied him carefully for a moment, then cleared his throat and began. "To be honest, I've never allowed myself to, I couldn't, there was never anyone, not like you, not like this, what I'm trying to say is - hell, I just -." He sighed as Tony stopped the tumble of words with a single kiss that told him more than any words could ever say, and he hoped that Tony understood what he would give to keep his heart safe.

"I do, Stephen, and I can't really explain why I trust you, trust what we are, but I do. Before I came here, there was someone in my life, and everything I did was mostly to make sure she was safe; it turned out the only way to truly keep her safe and happy was for her to leave me. I want to do this, figure myself out, be here with you, but this time, I want to live with and for you - do you understand what I'm saying, Sunshine? I want to be clear, so you understand. I don't want you to sacrifice for me, I've done, seen too much of that in my life. I just want to love you, and be loved by you, for as long as we are allowed." 

He bit his lip as a wash of emotions he couldn't identify flew over Stephen's face, and he sighed, then began to turn away, thinking he had said too much, given too much away, again, when he felt Stephen's arms slip carefully around him, and without a word, he knew the love he felt was returned in equal measure for the first time in his life.


End file.
